Two Become One
My reasons for wanting to take on Matthew’s surname after we were married, were at first sentimental, practical and traditional. We are hoping to start a family and I want for us to be a unit. But the decision was final after we returned home from our destination wedding and someone unwittingly referred to me as “Mrs Miles” and Matthew as “Mr Miles”.
My first response was, “Ew! How incestuous!!” Matthew is my husband not my brother. hahaha! But my next response was a selfish, “Hey! That’s MY name!!” Did they think “Miles” was his surname because he is obviously Caucasian? I might look Asian to most people but I am Eurasian of mixed ancestry – with English, Portuguese, Thai, Chinese and Dayak thrown in. Miles is my surname and is of English ancestry. It is not a name i’m willing to share, unless you’ve “earned” it somehow. Maybe that sounds silly. But it dawned on me that I wanted my cake and to eat it too – I still wanted to be known as ME, but also as a married woman. I’m not just some guy’s girlfriend. I’m a WIFE.
Plus, “Miles-Nixon” has a nice ring to it. I might have had to reconsider if our surnames combined were “Miles-Davis” or “Richard-Nixon”. The only thing that worried me was the tonne of paperwork it would take to update my records. Matthew’s concern was that the name change would affect my media/showbiz career. Please. “Cheryl Miles” will continue to be a household name for as long as you’ll have me on your radios, Singapore! Professionally, I will still be known as “Cheryl Miles” but in my personal life, it’s now “Mrs Cheryl Miles Nixon”.
Keep Your Maiden Name as Your Middle Name
The decision to change your surname (or add his name to yours) to your husband’s is a big one and very personal. Personally, I don’t believe that it’s antiquated or that I somehow relinquish my independence or identity, especially when you can opt to keep your maiden name as your middle name, like I did.
Besides, there are countless of hugely successful women who have taken on their husband’s surname and still shine on their own accord – Victoria Beckham (Victoria Adams), Michelle Obama (Michelle Robinson), Amal Cloony (Amal Alamuddin), Kim Kardashian West (Kim Kardashian), Jada Pinkett Smith (Jada Pinkett) & Jessica Timberlake (Jessica Biel), to name just a few.
So if you are thinking of becoming a Mrs. too and change your surname to your husband’s, but are only hesitating because it all sounds so troublesome, don’t fret! It only took me $60 and 60 minutes at the Immigration & Checkpoints Authority (ICA). You don’t need a lawyer. You don’t need a deed poll. And the best part is, you DON’T need to spend hours updating all your records with your new married name afterwards.
Do note that hyphenating your surname IS considered a name change and that requires a lawyer and a deedpoll. This is why I chose not to double barrel “Miles-Nixon” and instead simply adopted my surname as a middle name. So much easier! This means my married name is technically an alias and I can use either name where applicable. All my prior personal records stay unchanged. But moving forward, when I apply for a new passport or open a shared bank account, I can use my married name.
Here’s How to ADD Your Married Name to Your NRIC at ICA
You will need to bring:
- your marriage certificate
- your NRIC
- a passport size photo (taken within the past 3-6 months and that reflects your current appearance).
- And if you are changing your address, proof of your residence, like a phone bill.
Passport Photo Requirements:
There is no longer a photo booth at ICA as of June 2019. So make sure you get your photos done first before making the trip. There are many instant photo booths located in MRT stations around the island where you can get your photos done quickly. You can also pop in to any photo printing shop.
Your passport photo should be:
- Taken within the last 3 months
- Clear and in focus, 35mm wide by 45mm high, without any borders
- In colour taken against a plain white background without shadows
- Avoid white headgear and plain white clothing (headgear worn in accordance with religious or racial customs is acceptable but must not hide any facial features)
- Full face with the upper shoulders visible, facing forward with eyes open
- Hair must not cover the eyebrows or the eyes
- Even exposure (must not be taken under direct lighting)
- Spectacle frames must not cover part of the eyes
- Spectacle lenses must not reflect or glare
- You must look at the camera with a neutral expression and with mouth closed.
For more information, do click here.
Here’s what you do:
Step 1: Go to the 3rd floor of 10 Kallang Rd, ICA Building, Singapore 208718. They open 8am – 5pm weekdays and 8am – 1pm on Saturdays (closed on Sundays). I arrived at the counter at 10.53am and took a queue number. There were at least 21 people ahead of me, which allowed me some time to dash downstairs to get my passport photos taken. Be better prepared than me and make sure you get them done ahead of time!
Step 2: (technically this should be Step 1! haha) You can get your photos taken on Level 1 of ICA. The queue may seem long and daunting but it moves rather quickly. I only waited 15 minutes. For $6.30 (cash payment only) you get 4 passport-sized photos.
UPDATE: as of 30 June 2019, photo-taking services are no longer available at ICA.
Step 3: Back at Level 3, after waiting only another 15 minutes (the queue moved at a rate of 8 people per 20 minutes… yes, I calculated this. I am weird like that), my turn was up. I was asked to produce my current NRIC, my marriage certificate, and passport photo.
Then I had to fill out a form to state my new married name. At first I wrote “Mrs. Cheryl Nixon” and immediately felt a rush of identity crisis. Thankfully, the ICA officer was kind and patient with me and gave me another form on which I filled out, “Mrs Cheryl Miles Nixon”. Sense of self restored!
In that moment I realized how much history and personal achievement is attached to my surname. “Miles” is where I came from, but “Nixon” is who I am connected to now, and together, the two names are greater than the sum of its parts!
Step 4: Next, you will be given a slip that states the URL you can visit the next day to fix a date to collect your new NRIC at the most convenient SingPost (there’s a $6 fee for this service which you pay upon collection) or you can choose to collect it at ICA itself. You can also opt to download the ICA app to appoint the date and preferred SingPost. Your new identity card with new photo and new name will be ready within 2 days.
The ICA officer will then punch a hole in your current NRIC, deeming it null and void. For me, that was quite a symbolic gesture. It officially marked the start of my new adventures as a married woman. Goodbye “Cheryl Sabrina Miles”. Thank you for being so awesome and for bringing me to this point in my life!
New Life, New Name
I had gone to ICA on 12 February 2019 and could have collected my new NRIC by Valentine’s Day, but had a press conference to attend that morning for “Captain Marvel”. I instead collected it the following Monday at Toa Payoh Central SingPost and presented it to him together with his belated Valentine’s Day card.
Matt had never expected me to take on his name but when he first saw it in print, his heart swelled with pride. For me, it is important for various reasons. Having the same last name just makes things simpler for when we travel, if we migrate back to the States (he’s American, I’m Singaporean) or when we have kids. But beyond all that, it represents my new identity as a wife and (hopefully soon) a mother and I look forward to discovering who Mrs Cheryl Miles Nixon becomes!
I hope this information has helped! Do comment below if you would like to share your thoughts or have any questions.
